You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize