I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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