I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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