and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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