Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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