Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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