It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize