Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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