Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
