normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
