oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How naked do you want me to be?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
