Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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