so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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