Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
