i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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