i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
