hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
