i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
