new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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