It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize