I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
