Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
