Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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