for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
