Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
