Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
