her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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