Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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