I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
