i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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