sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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