I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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