i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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