I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
