The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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