wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize