I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
