he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize