if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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