I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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