the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
