Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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