Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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