New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
