He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
