So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
