I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
