it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
