Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
