Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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