He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
