Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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