I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He kissed a someone with a penis
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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