I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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