Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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