she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Never joke about your clitoris.
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